Among my friends when I lived in Oklahoma City were Tom and Jeff. They had been in a committed relationship for a number of years when Tom was diagnosed with cancer.

Although Jeff’s family had accepted that he was Gay, Tom’s family had thrown him out when he was a senior in high school because he had brought the demon into their religious home, and this could not be tolerated. For years he had survived on his own without the help of a family who wanted nothing to do with him.

They did not visit when invited. They did not invite him to any family events like weddings and funerals. They never spoke to him as he lay dying, only calling the house to ask Jeff how close to death he was.

Being in the Buckle of the Bible Belt, and having seen it happen with other couples when one of them died, Tom, who refused to die lonely in a hospital that would have probably denied Jeff visitation rights, chose to die at home. A room on the second floor of their home was turned into a well appointed hospital room where Jeff, a registered nurse cared for Tom in his last days when he wasn’t on duty, and a visiting nurse cared for him when Jeff was.

They had bought many thing for and with each other over the years, things that would be treasured memories when Tom passed.

But Jeff, knowing what could happen, and with Tom confined to his bed, slowly emptied the first floor of meaningful things, storing them in a rented storage unit, and with the help of friends replacing them with home furnishings they wanted to get rid of anyway.

On the day of Tom’s funeral, the family, who had had nothing to do with Tom while he was alive, showed up at the house with their pickup trucks, and after informing Jeff that they had consulted a lawyer, explained that as his relationship with Tom was not recognized by the state or their church, whatever he could not prove with receipts was his or had been bought in tandem, they could  assume to be Tom’s and, as they were family, was now theirs.

They took whatever they wanted from the first floor, which was mostly what they considered to be the good furniture, the television, the stereo, and most of the lamps and drove off leaving the post funeral casseroles to get cold, the sandwiches to become dry, and the coffee untouched.

Over the next two weeks, Jeff slowly brought the furniture and other items out of the storage unit and put them back into their appointed places, and then he grieved.

He had the stuff he and Tom had bought, his friends had gotten rid of things that they had wanted to get rid of, and the family that did not speak to Tom while he was alive, seeing no value in him, happily returned to Arkansas with what they thought were Tom’s possessions.

He had no value, but his things did.

Quite a few Gay people have to make a choice early on to either come out to family and face what could be negative consequences, or move away, establish their lives and, perhaps, come out to their families when they felt it safe to do so without having to deal with the negative aspects of being rejected.

During the beginning years of the AIDS epidemic, dying from it was how many families found out the truth about their sons, and ignoring the partners with whom they had shared a committed relationship did as Tom’s family had done, even going so far as rejecting the person first for being Gay and then for having AIDS.

Many died alone because the partner was denied visitations, and the family simply turned its back on the demon.  And, although they might have been eager to take what of the possessions they considered theirs, as blood was thicker than water, an appalling number of the bodies of the deceased were never claimed by them, and had to be buried in paupers’ graves with the partner having no idea, having had no contact with the person he loved once the patient was admitted to hospital.

The level of muscle contraction leads one with trouble during physical intimacy and sexual intercourse as there is no timely viagra online online erection that can last till the completion of the sexual act; this is the result of reduced blood supply to the male organ. They must know the fact that their health generally improved icks.org viagra soft tab with the help of these therapies. There http://www.icks.org/data/ijks/1482310883_add_file_3.pdf soft cialis pills are more advantages of this drug per day. canadian cialis generic icks.org Physical attraction also plays a vital role in the choice of the TV. A common denominator was that while the person was rejected, their stuff had value.

At the beginning of the summer when the shooting at the Pulse Club in Orlando happened, some families knew their child was Gay, and had accepted it, while some had not; some families found out this way that their family member was Gay, and accepted it; or finding out this way, refused to accept it choosing, instead to believe they had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time enjoying Latino Night, and so could not bring themselves to accept the person’s reality, and could reject it for the sake of the feelings of those left behind.

In the last case, this posthumous rejection meant that they really lost someone they chose not to know.

In one notorious case the father of a gay man who died in the Orlando shooting did not claim his son’s body.

But, although, the bodies of the other victims were claimed by the families, the victims’ being Gay was necessarily accepted. To some it brought shame to the family, and caused discomfort among the immediate family, other members of the extended families, and their social and church groups.

In the aftermath of the shooting, because of charitable contributions, the OneOrlando Fund received $29.5 million which was to be divided amobg families and survivors.

But ugliness has set in.

Each of the families of the 49 victims will receive $350,000 from the fund, but, as it is up to the families how they will divide these funds among themselves, about half of the families  are fighting with other family members and partners over the division.

A probate court might be necessary to settle some disputes.

Alex Martins, chair of the OneOrlando board has explained,

 “It’s parents in dispute with a partner, who perhaps they didn’t know, or estranged parents, claiming one of them should receive the funds.”

As with Tom, who meant nothing until his death meant possessions for the family that rejected him, the partner of on victim has said that the victim was kicked out of his home as a teenager, and his only meaning to the family is that  they can now make money from their son’s death.

Martins has also said 44 claims were rejected because they were duplicate claims from family members obviously wanting their hands on the money and willing to compete over the bodies of the dead to get it.

Rejected in life, but a cash cow in death has brought some victims closer to their families who had rejected them.

It will be interesting to learn if the father who did not claim his son’s body will be anxious to accept the money now.