Wow!

I mean, just, WOW!

Some day I will relate how I eventually came to realizing and then accepting who and what I am, but for now, suffice it to say that the timing was really bad as I entered my Gay life just as the AIDS epidemic hit big.

I was no longer working real hard at being straight.

Here I was finally  going to Gay clubs, Gay social events, Gay political events, living in a Gay Ghetto, and meeting people who were like me but who had been in a world that had until then been an undiscovered parallel universe to me.

Yes, there were some sketchy people upon whom stereotypes were built, but the majority were good, upstanding people, most of the ones I knew being hard working professionals, the ones who traditionally went unseen since nothing distinguished them from the majority society beyond who they fell in love with.

But almost every day some one would inform us in a lowered voice who had just been diagnosed with HIV, and who had died.

I didn’t t know many of the names of those that, if things had been different, I may have met, but now I would never meet them, but instead saw how their passing was affecting the people I was getting to know.

My community was getting smaller before I could experience how large it had been, but would not be again.

The Gay Community of my generation was getting wiped out.

Needless to say, AIDS was not a casual topic. Everything about it was read and discussed. While it should have been everyone’s concern, the Gay community was on its own to deal with the disease,to invent ways to deal with caring for each other, to construct support networks, and to find the nonjudgmental doctors who would deal with it without attempting to instill shame.

A fellow teacher had asked me once if I knew any resources that she could turn to when her brother who had tested positive came from out of state for a visit and something happened that she did not understand or know how to handle.
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She was amazed that within twenty four hours of my handing her a phone number, the one call she made resulted in her having the name of a doctor, the closest hospital to her home to get him to in the event it was needed, the name of a home health care provider, someone willing to drive her and her bother wherever they needed to go, and someone to hang out with him if she could not get time off from work.

There were no government programs, although plenty of politicians were suggesting internment camps to isolate people with AIDS and were promoting the firing of any employee who might test positive.

The silence of the federal government was astounding as it ignored research and care advocates, and, accepting the religious fanatics’ claim that this was a punishment from God, sat on their hands.

The White House’s first reference to AIDS at a press conference was to make a joke about the possibility that the reporter asking about AIDS was indirectly confessing he had it.

Revisionist history cannot erase experienced reality, and after the fact explanations that are not even remotely related to events just don’t cut it.

So Hillary Clinton’s attempt to praise Nancy Reagan for doing what she did not do during a time when her own attention was elsewhere was insulting to those who experienced the history, and disrespectful to those who died, but shouldn’t have.

Yes, she did apologize, but with one of those apologies that really isn’t one.

She did not say she was wrong, and she did not ask for forgiveness from those she insulted. She merely explained that she had misspoken.

Misspoken is when giving someone directions,  you tell someone to turn left instead of right because you were confused at the moment.

But she had time to craft her statement, and she has a staff she could have run it by. She had to know as a candidate and First Lady there was a strong possibility that she would be asked about Nancy Reagan. The woman died 5 days before the funeral.

This is an example of pandering going too far.

It’s more serious than an “oopsie” that can be excused with a grin and a shrug.