Revenge of the Veggie Tales

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When a highly placed Muslim cleric was asked about the West’s apparent desire and attempts to destroy the Muslim religion, in light of what is going on with ISIS and events like the Charlie Hebdo shooting, he responded that it was not the West and other religions that are destroying Islam, it is destroying itself from within.

And as much as some Christian leaders and politicians in the United States like to claim they are being attacked and persecuted by others, if they took an honest look at what is going on, they would see that American Christianity is being destroyed by its own.

One of the best examples of this, besides a rather off the rails Franklin Graham, is the never disappointing Pat Robertson with whom God apparently carries on long, detailed, and frequent conversations telling him some pretty bizarre things that he passes on to his fans on an almost daily basis.

After telling pregnant women that witches will curse their unborn children if they post ultrasound photos on Facebook, and that evil spirits could be possessing their latest thrift store purchases, he changed his past advocacy for the decriminalization of pot to a warning against the evils of weed.

In 2012 he questioned locking people up for pot violations saying, “I believe in working with the hearts of people, and not locking them up.”

But, a week ago when he was asked on the 700 Club about the legalization of marijuana, he said, “God gave you and me as human beings authority, he gave us dominion over everything on this Earth. Over all the animals, all the snakes, all the birds, all the plants, all the vegetables… Cocaine is the product of a vegetable, alcohol is the product of a vegetable, marijuana is a vegetable. And yet, people are enslaved to vegetables. You were made in the image of God. God made you in his image to reign and rule with Him. He gave you incredible authority. Why would you become a slave to a vegetable? Why? Why would you do it?”

In Oklahoma City one of the stores that had a good relationship with the school district and from which you could get classroom supplies at a good discount was a Christian bookstore, a big one, owned by Hobby Lobby.

I would take my voucher there and get things for the classroom, and would often walk around checking out the religious Chatkes and the toy section. I was teaching Special Education at the time, and they had what we called “manipulatives” that would make science easy and fun.
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They were up to your bulvarinis in bulletin board decorations.

They had a whole section of Veggie Tales toys, books, and videos.

There was something a little creepy about the ever staring, vacant eyes of the anthropomorphic vegetables who seemed to always be planning something behind their frozen smiles.

Their hollow eyes followed you as you walked around. They were not the windows to anyone’s souls.

Now because of Pat’s truth telling, I now know they were there biding their time for the right moment to enslave us.

There turns out to be something satanic behind their otherwise innocent facades

And from now on when I go into the local Stop and Shop, I will definitely steer clear of the produce section and go right to the deli and frozen foods.

And, I will sever all ties to vegan fiends, and stick strictly to beef and bacon

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