Sometimes even on a slow day, there are those dependable human cartoons that always come through.

And none is more faithful than the ever popular well spring of stupidity, our publicity dependent Momma Grizzly from the north who is the paragon of class, culture, pure patriotism, and unadulterated family values.

Yes, Sarah Palin is in the news for more entertainment than any one person should be allowed to provide.

There was a party.
There was a fight.
There was a police presence.
There was a police report.
There is an oddly proud mother.

The former governor of Alaska (“former” because she quit her job as the elected governor of Alaska so she could run around the country making big bucks as a hero of the Tea Party after having had the people of her state waste a vote on her) was involved in a brawl at a party held to honor the participants in a snowmobile race at the beginning of September.

The exact details had remained sketchy as there was a lot of he said/she said reporting of the event with some grasping strongly to anything that would have painted the Palin family as overly macho Northern white tundra trash, and those who grasped onto the idea that she and her family were being smeared due to naked hatred of her.

But as of this week, in spite of not pressing any charges, the Anchorage police department released the complete report on the party events, and the Palin’s and friends do not look too good.

Although there are contradictions in the testimony of the 15 people interviewed, there are a few interesting consistencies.

There was apparently one fight in the front yard involving Track Palin, the son, and Todd Palin, the father, and another one in the back yard involving the eldest daughter Bristol.

Track, who was, according to the police report, intoxicated and belligerent, said his fight began because a friend was sucker punched, while Bristol in the same condition said her brawl began when she went looking for the woman who had hit her sister, and involved her being dragged to the ground by the homeowner.

Both accounts included that the crowd was rooting for the Palins to get the worst of things.
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Daddy Todd, meanwhile claims that he got involved because he could not walk away from a fight involving his son.

The host of the party, Korey Klingenmeyer, not as intoxicated as the Palin kids, allegedly told his guests to stay away from the fight out front and stay in the backyard instead.

That is when Bristol appeared in the backyard announcing she was out for the person who had pushed her sister, willow, and did not heed the homeowner’s warning that he wanted no fighting in the back yard because, she claimed, he “didn’t own the place” and that she would “kick his ass.”

With that she struck Klingenmeyer five or six times before slipping to the ground, getting up, striking again, and then, once again, slipping to the ground.

she was a drunk tying to pick a fight. We’ve all seen that scenario played out when all we wanted was a few drinks and conversation with friends.

The Palin warriors from the front of the house then came to the back to avenge Bristol’s poor pugilistic skills by attacking the home owner which resulted in other guests coming to his aid and increasing the size of the brawl which had moved to the back yard, a fight which the Palins lost.

Party guest Matthew McKenna, after helping to break up the front fight, had told Todd and Track Palin they needed to leave, advice they ignored before taking the fight out back.

Eventually McKenna got Bristol out to the front of the house and sat her down on the curb at which point Todd and Sarah approached to find out what was happening, and it was after they refused to leave that another fight broke out.

The police arrived and tried to calm things down, but had some difficulty as Track, who had been whisked off and hidden in the family’s Hummer limo got belligerent with them when they attempted to question him, and Bristol was still wanting to “kick ass”.

Being as she is the mother of all mothers to the family of all families, and taking her position as the champion of the traditional family and a person who, while instilling a strong work ethic in her children, I guess somehow by quitting her job as governor, Sarah Palin took to Facebook a few days after the fight to crow,

“I love my Bristol! My straight-shooter is one of the strongest young women you’ll ever meet. I have to say this as a proud mama: right up there with their work ethic and heart for those less fortunate, my kids’ defense of family makes my heart soar!
“As you can imagine, they and my extended family have experienced so many things (liberal media-driven) that may have crushed others without a strong foundation of faith, and I’m thankful for our friends’ prayer shield that surrounds them, allowing faith to remain their anchor.”

So, according to Sarah Palin, the fight was the sign of a strong (albeit dunk at the time) family, and the Liberal Press was somehow involved in the sparring event, or why would he even bring them up?

Would that all families were as strong and united  as the Palins.