(With loose apologies to William Shakespeare and Julius Caesar)

[Historians]

“If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.

You all do know this mantle of democracy and greatness.

I remember the first time ever the United States put it on. ‘Twas on a summer’s evening in Philadelphia, that day we overcame the Monarchy.

Look, in this place ran Giuliani’s dagger through. See what a rent the envious Barr made. Through this the well-belovèd Trump stabbed. And as he plucked his cursèd steel away, mark how the blood of the United States followed it, as rushing out of doors, to be resolved if  Trump so unkindly knocked, or no.

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For Trump, as you know, was the United States’ president.

Judge, O you gods, how dearly his supporters loved him!

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

For when the noble United States saw Trump stab, ingratitude, more strong than traitors’ arms quite vanquished it, then burst its mighty heart.”

[Nancy Pelosi and 52% of the citizens of the United States]

“And the United States’ spirit, raging for revenge,
With Ate by its side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with the citizens’ voice
Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of impeachment,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion Trump Cronies groaning for burial.