Gay bars did not open because the Chamber of Commerce thought such a bar would add another gathering place in a town that would benefit from the taxes and was. therefore, welcomed and supported.

Gay bars were not a choice. They were not simply an option. Gay bars were a basic necessity, and, at times, life saving. Because of various local laws, in many places, being Gay was illegal and people seemed to feel that they were called upon by those laws to harass Gay people. Unlike today, the bars were quite often in seedy areas that the “respectable” people would avoid. Isolation afforded built-in safety.

A few such safe spaces were established because even people’s private homes were open to raids if a neighbor filed a report, and lives would be ruined.

Although Gay people still found ways to find each other, usually in places to which polite society would not go, that meant being attacked was less likely not because people were accepting, but because they just did not go where the Gays went, unless it was for a bashing session. People gathered in salons and private locations, often by invitation only, like when Straights, unable to gather in bars and other public places because of age restrictions, gathered by the town dump for drinking and sex parties mainly because those who would disapprove would not go there, although they still would call the police to have these parties raided because as “secret” as they were, everyone knew the kids were at the town dump. However, while in these cases there would be fines, speeches, and threats to tell the parents, in the case of bar raids, regardless of age, there would be ruination of lives in the media that implied the activity that led to the raid was salacious in nature.

It was socially easier for men to begin opening more established places to meet, but being illegal, these were often run by organized crime who did not abide the law and saw the money Gays would spend there being unable to spend elsewhere as it was even illegal to serve a Gay person a drink in a bar or restaurant. People cannot be separated from their times, and as the attitude about men and women made it easier for Gay men to establish a semi-visible safe place, that’s how it was. Without all the present social media, meeting “Family” was not easy, and knowing who was ”Family” was also very difficult. Both men and women had to live in their age.

It might have been based on a bit of social misogyny, but attacking a gathering of men would meet with too much resistance in most minds as compared to a women’s gatherings as, according to the attitude at the time, women, being weaker, made for an easier target, and, again, attitudes toward gender were then not now.

Decades ago, a Lesbian friend wanted to take me to a women’s gathering, but was not able to as the women wanted total control over who came into their space and who was seen there. Their space, not mine. One night years later when things were more advanced and Gays and Lesbians more accepted in Long Beach CA, I went to the Lesbian Bar two blocks from my apartment because the significant other of my Teacher Assistant, June, at the Special Education summer school where I had been working was the musician that night, but I was turned away at the door by the bouncer because it was a women’s space. I may have been there to support a friend Plus-One, and I was eventually let in as my friend came to the door to get me, I knew I was an exception that still made other patrons uneasy. Only went to that bar if invited or with women.

In Oklahoma, you might have been able to just walk into a Gay men’s bar, but to get into some Lesbian bar, not all but some, you had to be buzzed in by the bouncer. You couldn’t just sashay in like the place was yours.

In New Bedford, when the men’s bar was closed due to a hatchet attack, the women’s bar was open to the men, but it was understood the men were guests and must respect the place, or they should have if they didn’t.

In the pre-Stonewall days, what bars did exist were often raided, so safe places were not necessarily truly safe.

We were not out on the streets in large numbers being Gay, so to attack us, people had to seek us out and a bar’s location might make that more difficult, that and the lack of anything to indicate a place was a Gay bar as that would have been the X on the treasure map. You had to know where the bars were with your options limited by not knowing where to look, and many of the more notorious places were known for their notoriety which for some was an obstacle. What you knew about Gay life was based on how wide the area of successful searches were possible in the days before the internet and many places had any publications that would publish any information back . There was no social media in the past.

You had a Damron Guide if you knew where to buy one, and that would usually be a city which limited information in rural areas.

In my youth, many bars had entrances out of sight of the general public, such as the one in Boston whose entrance was in the alley behind the Boston Public Library, while quite often people gathered at house parties. New York City had the Meat Rack area in the meat processing district because, being abandoned at night, men could make their assignations, the ones many wished they could have in their own homes with no fear or at least a nicer area with some degree of safety until the police or the unofficial guardians of morality seriously or just as a lark went to “beat up some Queers”.

People condemned Gay men because of the lengths that society forced them to go to find the same level of love and the expression of it that Heterosexuals so freely had.

For an oppressed minority, these bars, like the catacombs are believed to have been used, serve to build solidarity and community, and to promote education not only about self and community, but wider areas like politics and, yes, religion. But, unlike the catacombs that were left alone, Gay bars have been sites of violence and persecution from those who have forced Gay people to establish those safe places.

For safety and respect, one did not ask another for specific details but accepted only what was freely offered.

Over time, society changed enough for the bars to be less secret and. in some places, the seedy side of town left long abandoned became the areas with restaurants and upscale housing, resulting in the bars that had been seedy becoming a little more posh and more identifiable.

Back when Gay bars began to become more formal establishments, if the bar was not opened by a company or Straight businessman seeing a potential cash cow in an open field, they were opened by Gays and Lesbians who had enough money to take a chance. Some bars flourished and some died with the death of each removing one more safe place in a not completely safe environment. Some of these people had always lived their true selves while others, victims of tradition, had done all that they as humans were expected to do and only found after marriage that they were not the person in it. There were children and a divorced based on Sexual orientation did not erase familial relationships.

A time finally came when the first wave of bar owners had to call it quits and arrange for the bar to continue by establishing some sort of business arrangement if they didn’t just close or sell it while others had children to whom they could leave it and the bar could continue.

Some states limited the inheritances of Gay men and women, and as blood was thicker than water any bequeathing of a revenue source to a Gay person could be challenged with the intended heir getting nothing. I have seen it with homes and multi-acreage ranches.

This often resulted, if there were partners but one held the majority shares, in the ownership of the bar going to a straight sibling who, in turn, would leave the bar to their off-spring when the time came, or the original owner leaving their share to an offspring. The end result, not understanding the historical and communal nature of Gay bars, reduced many to just being bars.

When a bar closes, so does a safe place, and many still needing one, disappear as they only feel safe in the shadows.

Many of the offspring inheritors might have been familiar with their parents’ business but, assuming that their parents were simply running a bar, continue to do that, modeling it on just being a bar. 

Although over the years there were a few Gay bars that came and went, by the opening decade of this millennium, there were only two officially labeled Gay bars in the city, one Gay the other Lesbian, until a crazed individual entered the Men’s bar and attacked patrons with a hatchet. Obviously this bar closed, not only because of that attack itself, but because trauma prevented a lot of patrons from returning. 

In the 1980s, two women had opened a bar as a safe place for women.  Not far away, was the men’s safe place. Although there had been interaction between the men’s and women’s bars and their patrons in the past as neither bar was exclusive, their ambiance determining patronage, as the result of the hatchet attack on the men’s bar it was more formally opened to the refugees from the other bar. It was a space opened to men who, hopefully, would have respect of place and remember the men were guests. 

The two women were from the old days when everyone was assumed to be Straight until Satan made you Gay, and having been married, there were children who would inherit the bar if it lasted long enough to be sold or bequeathed.

The location of the bar, although ending up being in the shadow of an interstate that had scarred that area of town, was included in the city’s gentrification plan, and, being near an entrance and exit from that interstate, was ideal for apartments and related businesses and would one day be a revenue source of a different nature. The building was not well maintained and would call for a bit of renovation and repair if it were to continue.

Although there was a closeness between the GLBT Community and the bar owner’s children because of their mothers and their being very familiar with the clientele who were like aunts and uncles and having grown from the cute little children of the owners along with many in the Community who were their peers, when an offer was made for the property after one mother died and the other just wanted retirement, it was accepted by the adult children who now owned the business and the liquor license without much of a word to the clientele, eliminating whatever arrangement could be made to perhaps keep the bar alive.

Rumors became reality.

The owners decided the bar would close and they would have money to do whatever with be that investing, opening a business of higher quality at a better location, or just living the life as long as the money lasted.

Closing a Gay bar is not the simple closing of a business. It is a blow to Community as another safe place is lost.

Along with the usual condemnations and grousing that is useless but self-satisfying venting, some members of the Community approached the new owner to see if there was a way to save the bar and keep a safe space for Community.

With a lot of gentrification beginning, the new owner bought the building and the adjacent parking lot knowing full well that any plans to upgrade the lot and building to whatever he intended would only come about after every T was crossed and I dotted on any documents and all plans fit codes and land usage meaning that, although he could not immediately benefit, he at least owned the property now and would not have to pay whatever price was attached in the future while having land he could sell if his plans fell through. Aware any future price would be affected by the property’s condition, abandoned and empty as opposed housing people and a business, and knowing from experience that this process could take a minimum of three years, the new owner accepted the proposal made by people who saw what the loss of a Community safe place would mean, agreeing to let them use the building as the bar it had been knowing this was temporary, unless he included such a place in his future plans.

Unfortunately, the old owners took the time between agreement and final paperwork to sell or have removed items necessary for a bar. Who owned what and who had a right to sell anything besides the structure may have involved the old and news owners and not the Community, but now what was removed needed to be replaced and this was an additional expense to people doing a good thing and caused a delay of what the community could have. 

Further delays were caused by the condition of the building beyond what was visible. Patrons assumed some minor improvements that came when the children inherited the club were to make the place better for them, but these turned out to be cosmetic for raising the price of the property as was evidenced by discovering during renovations that anyone who approached the ice machine had a 50/50 chance of crashing through the rotting floorboards to the basement below.

At any rate, delays, the surprise additionally needed work, personal schedules as the people attempting to save the bar for the Community had day jobs, were to be expected, in spite of visible improvements to the building and the arrival of new equipment, the opening date kept getting pushed back..

In any Community there are those who are happy with what people do for them and those who make demands, criticizing anything that does not match their desires, not needs, and seem to think people are answerable to them and, rather than contribute, command. These people stepped forward with their opinions at any delays. 

The people saving the bar have enough pressure and anxiety to get this good thing done, they do not need people sitting back, observing, telling them what they should do and then using social media to express their disappointment if it is not done.

The old owners have expressed no intention of using the liquor license connected to the bar they no longer own elsewhere and, because they sold the building, using it there is out of the question. They have no need for it, but, perhaps, now seeing that there was support for the bar before they raced to unload the property and roll on top of the pile of cash on the bed, or that there was a way they could have improved the place and lived comfortably as ghost owners after hearing from someone how this could be done so they would later be able to sell the building at a higher price, something their pre-sale secrecy precluded, for spite, have chosen to prevent success for anyone else by refusing to sign over the liquor license which prevents the new bar opening as a source of anything beyond juice. 

If the former owners wanted to use their license to continue to make money there had been ways, but judging from interactions, they were the kids who eat all the M&Ms right away and then complain they have no more while demanding the kids who ate theirs slowly and still have some left share because that is what nice people are supposed to do. 

Sadly they have collaborators who should be acting better.

Gay or Straight, there are members of the Community with whom these people grew up, who have known them from childhood on, and may hang out with those with whom they are peers not just customers. Patrons refer to them as friends. This means that in the GLBT Community there are those who can use friendly persuasion or more pressure to get the liquor license signed over.

Sadly in every GLBT Community, and I base this on experience in at least seven of them not as a visitor but resident, there are the A-list Gays, the moneyed, white collar professionals, who,  while secretly donating to Gay causes that benefit them and gives them prestige within the Community, will support any thing and any politician that cements their position regardless of the affect on the Great Unwashed Gays, the rest of us. Membership is selective with a lot of judgment on the rest of the community to decide if someone is worthy of acceptance. They will most likely not acknowledge a rank and file Gay’s existence in public although they are, like you, a regular at the bar, because you are known to be Gay or are obviously Gay, and that is seen as threatening, or they are with another A-Lister and do not want it known they are friends with a lesser. If a lesser can add to their shine, however, they will take the lesser to be closer to a benefit.

I attended a gathering of important Gay and Lesbian people in Los Angeles. I actually was one of them. I had status. I had a roommate (in the actual sense) who had been raised in poverty and I brought him along as this was a chance for networking both professionally and personally as well as having a good time. He had an exotic fashion sense and wore a simple outfit accordingly. He spent most of the gathering acting as the unofficial host, refilling people’s drinks and carrying around small plates of oeuvre d’ors, telling me when I suggested he just sit and relax that he felt more comfortable being busy. As we headed toward the car as we left, I was called over by a very prominent person in the Gay Community who expressed her disappointment I would bring someone who dressed like that (merely not in the majority fashion but a little muted flamboyance as it was him, or should I say “they”) and obviously, here she used a fancy term for poor, not of “our” caliber. It was made clear he was not to attend any future gatherings. In the car, before I said anything, he explained that the reason being host was comfortable was because someone had told him basically what I had been told. 

Even after he moved to his own place, I never attended another gathering of that particular group having no problem explaining exactly why when asked. And I was. 

I had status.

I won an award once that was a major award in another Community, and I had to attend a banquet I could never afford to attend and only did so because my award came with a ticket to the banquet for me and a plus-one guest. There were people there I knew of and had met, but with whom I did not traffic because such happened only by invite. My plus one was a friend with a disadvantaged past who I thought would like to be at one of these hoity-toity events at least once in his life. I was a “mere” teacher so, by A-List standards, not up to snuff, but I had done an important thing and that, like it or not, elevated me to someone good to know, but not enough to become a member. 

We dined, we danced, I accepted my award, and we enjoyed the evening.

Later in a bar, one of the attendees at the banquet and fellow award winner came up to me laughing. Neither my friend nor I knew the event was formal and had shown up wearing clothes we had bought for the occasion which made us standout as we went colorful among the penguins. I was there to accept an award from people who would not have otherwise even acknowledged me on the street, and my friend in many ways was not the Boston Brahmin they would have preferred.

Yet, there we were with me being the center of the attention of people who only saw my value if it was useful to them but had to appear as if it was so joyous to have Beacon Hill honor Roxbury. This person had heard the real opinions from those of his status standing at the urinal not knowing he loved that it drove his peers nuts. 

I know they are here, and I know they have the influence to make things happen, but perhaps they are safe at their salons. But, the community news them now and for some to do more than arrange for Bingo and say they have met our needs.

I know where I am now has its A-List. I have met some of them, and some of these people who can very easily go to their friends to have them transfer the license, find a way to make it happen by formal means or friendlier ones, or arrange a way around the obstacle without having to wait for it to expire and be lost need to step forward for the community. 

Pressure is free but it has to be exerted.

It is too bad that what from all appearances seems to be pointless obstruction or pettiness is preventing a community safe place the old owners may not need but could have supplied and could have  made money from if they acted smarter then instead of reacting petty now.

Where are the locals who should step up?

There are people who know they can make this happen.

I have seen them step up at other times in other places.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.