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Beginning in 2003, Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern attempted to ban what she broadly described as undefined “Gay Themed” book, brought people‘s attention to the fact that with all the books in Oklahoma City’s high school libraries on diversity in America, there weren‘t any that included Gay people unless as footnotes, or as characters that did not end their stories well.

Gay characters were comic relief, predictably malicious, lonely,  and most likely dead before the final chapter to allow for the cautions about straying from nature as defined by the author. 

I had found a few books in the high school library at my school that dealt with the topic of Homosexuality. Among these were a book with suggested debate topics with essays on the pros and cons of various controversial topics including Homosexuality along with promiscuity, alcohol and drugs use, and diseases; a book on AIDS where all the heterosexual couples were in normal relationships with some minor varying details which elicited pity for any of them exposed to HIV while the sole Gay teen had decided on a life of promiscuity involving a lot of older men; and one where a conservative televangelist treated the topic of teen sex with cautions about those abominations that might lead them astray. But as far as any history, biography, or work of fiction not related in any way to sex, unlike such books involving heterosexual characters, there was nothing.

Money was raised from individuals and organizations within what was referred to at the time as the Gay Community so one copy each of the books “Stonewall” by David Carter and “Forgotten Profit: The Life and Times of Bayard Rustin” by John D‘Emilio could be bought for each high school in Oklahoma City and presented to the School Board in the summer of 2005 as a gift to to the district to cover this void. With two shopping bags filled with books bound in pairs by rainbow ribbon, one set for each high school, members of the community presented the books to the Board at one of its public meetings.

The books had been chosen because of their historical value, and because there was nothing in either that could be even remotely objectionable, with the target audience being high school students so as to avoid any possibility that someone could accuse the books of being recruitment tools from which children would need protection. 

Indirectly the actions of the state representative regarding the books in the public libraries also guided the choice of the books and the audience as we followed her proposed requirements for age appropriate Homosexually themed books placed appropriately. The books would be only for high school students, and, being histories, were relevant to the curriculum. They were not sensational.

Neither book is mythological as the virtues and flaws of all involved in both books could be judged individually by their own actions within the larger Community and events, and even at Stonewall the reality is that there were those on both sides who were not the best examples of who made up each group. Neither book attempts to create a false story peopled with heroes and, at times, seems concerned enough to err the other way.

In short, there was no “promoting” of ideas.

We decided on a public presentation as opposed to going to the individual schools as a way to make sure the books were not just silently put in a closet somewhere with no central person or department to keep after to get the books on the shelves if it ever came to that, but their existence would be publicly known and interest in their fate followed.

Various members of the Gay Community spoke to the Board about the importance of such books, and how information may not only have helped the speakers, themselves, make better decisions in their youth, but might help the students avoid some of the pitfalls involved in figuring out on your own what it meant to be Gay and where they fit into the big picture in a society that systematically designs correct information in favor of an agenda based on religion and politics. Both books contained flawed individuals whose errors were not glossed over, so it was not a question of presenting a false, rosy picture, but one that was realistic and at times embarrassing.

     I had been to many Board meetings and the procedure for Community Comments had always been first come, first served, before the accepted agends was addressed. However, that night the acting chair grouped people according to topics, listing the book donation last even though I had been the first person to sign up to speak. Usually at Board meetings when any one group and its members spoke and finished their business, those people left. To have artificially placed us last ignoring the Board‘s own procedure guaranteed that when we got up to present the books the audience would not be there and we would be addressing ourselves and those Board members who had not left or taken a bathroom break. This would deny us both the drama of the moment, and witnesses beyond ourselves and the Board.

Those who usually attended School Board meetings like the Union officials and lower on the administration ladder officials noticed this change.

As it was, due to some confusion experienced by a group called before us when the person with the necessary papers was caught off guard having gone into the foyer to review some papers assuming he was further down the list of speakers having signed up just before the meeting began and had to be retrieved, the book presentation moved ahead of a Union issue only to have the acting chair, after announcing that there were four speakers, naming only three, absenting himself from the room, we assumed for a call of nature, so that after the third speaker was finished there was a very awkward pause that almost brought our presentation to an ignorable standstill since by procedure the chair announces the next speaker but had still not returned. Since I was the fourth intended speaker whose name had not been called, I went to the podium anyway, made my remarks, and presented my set of books to the members of the Board along with the other three speakers who came forward from their seats with theirs.

By the time the acting chair had returned, the books had been presented in spite of him.

The irony was that the acting chair who gave many people beyond us the impression he was trying to interfere or at least minimize the book donation was a Black man who benefited from the Civil Rights work of Bayard Rustin, a Black man, or he may not have been sitting on the Board. Yet, obviously being ignorant of who Bayard Rustin was, he tried mightily to censor us and the presentation. This was demonstrable ignorance of Black History, and oddly enough fit well into Strom Thurmond‘s attempting to control Black History as he did in 1963, and as politicians are attempting to do now, and showed that even supposedly informed people were woefully uninformed about their own history. 

I was embarrassed for him and his lack of knowledge about someone like Bayard Rustin and his obvious assumption that Rustin was a bad thing.

We did not ask for special, but for equal treatment, and did not expect these two books to be treated any differently than any other books, nor would we accept if they were treated less than any other book. Before even presenting the idea of a book donation I had checked on the school district policy about such donations and found there was none.

The televised media covered our presentation in a positive way, showing the two books presented, and asking those responsible for their motivation for donating the books and their hopes for the books‘ impact on students.

The books were passed on to the administrator in charge of district school libraries. Convinced that someone would come forward to make some impossibly unfounded and bizarre claim that the “Homosexual Agenda” was being promoted in the schools, and that the “Homosexual Lifestyle” was being taught as an acceptable alternative to Heterosexuality, the director of libraries wanted to have a few people read the books to see if there was anything to which anyone might choose to object. Her intention was to anticipate any objections that might arise by coming up with answers to them before they were voiced.

The District‘s initial inability to let the book donors know where the books had ended up when asked a few weeks after their presentation gave the impression that there may have been some reluctance in accepting the books, and they had been conveniently lost in the labyrinth of school headquarters. It would have been a good way to dodge having to deal with them or any backlash toward the donation.

When the books were located, they were just where they were supposed to be, in the office of a person who wanted the books in the libraries but who also found herself facing a possibly awkward and unsought position. The District‘s existing procedure for addressing complaints from parents or students about any book in any school library was applied in anticipation of their being placed on high school library shelves, and when all was said and done, and all arguments that could be were anticipated, the books went into the libraries after a six month process.

Upon checking after the date given as the day of delivery of the books to the high school libraries, I found most high school librarians contacted had received the books with some already having placed them on the shelves. One newly built high school had the two books as some of the first to be placed on the new school library‘s shelves.

As with the Gay History Month displays and other materials that had found less support in the past, these books did not bring down any storms of fire and brimstone, and if they were responsible for the loss of souls or any other demonic mayhem, no one has yet mentioned it.

It is now twenty years since we gave the books and many people made donations toward their purchase. One person, Jim Prock, who swore me to keep his secret, bought the lion’s share of the books when he inquired and found out there were still some books needing purchase and made it happen. The main detail is that he did not wait to see how things were and then stepping in to make it finally happen, but inquired almost immediately and made it happen within hours.

One “little guy” who took a major action, not for praise, but for the benefit of others. Some Kid read one of those books and has no idea a quiet man made the difference.

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So, there I am all by myself for eternity and I decide to create people to hang with and when I do, the angels rebel and decide worshiping me was a bit too much for them. Now, instead of being alone, I have sworn enemies that I created for the rest of eternity which is, I am sure, a very long time to come. I tried again with humans in my image and likeness but because I thought a talking snake was a good idea, they ended up disobeying me because of that talking snake and I had to unfriend them big time. I tell them to increase and multiply and their first born son kills the second one and then runs off to live with people I didn’t even know were there. 

I have to wipe them all out and start again. Did I start from scratch? NO. I use incest again and start with some chosen left overs that I spared and, yep, you guessed it, they turned on me. 

The one group I picked as my favorite has to be rescued from Egypt but they build a golden calf to worship instead of me. I have to keep killing them off. I finally send myself in the form of my son to reset it all and they end up killing me, say they worship the very ground I walk on and the water too, say they will do whatever I say, then ignore me in favor of the very opposite of what I wanted and my will be done and all, while totally ignoring the very reset of all my mistakes, the beatitudes.

Now the people claim someone most unlike me is better than I am.

That, Doctor,  is why I am giving up. When they are gone, I am going back to the sweet solitude of eternity.

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Remember Massachusetts 1980

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     In 1997, a simple request to the administration of the Oklahoma City Public Schools for teacher professional development sessions on the existence and needs of GLBT students in their classrooms, similar to what was done for the Asian, Black, Latino, and other groups to which students belonged, was rejected because, regardless how important that might be, “local norms will not allow it”. That was code for supporting bigotry, as the local norms referred to were those supported by politicians, the local newspaper, and the all controlling Baptist Church.

     Over the next several years meetings were held with administrators, after having been initially refused, that resulted in the formation of a committee to review the Oklahoma City Public School District’s policies on bullying, harassment, and nondiscrimination which some hoped would result in the addition of the words “sexual orientation” so that there would be no doubt that Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender students were included in those policies and their protection and school experience would not be controlled by the personal religious and political beliefs of individual teachers and administrators.

      That committee was close to the inclusive language, but an intra-administrative tiff resulted in that committee’s meetings being postponed indefinitely which, as it was to turn out as predicted, was to be never.

     The quest for those inclusive words was not abandoned, and for the next several years, 12 in total, that inclusion was sought to various degrees of acceptance by people going to school board meetings on a regular basis to present facts and figures to educate the school district of the importance of those words.

     Finally in December 2009, as a result of persistence, and some drama along the way, the GLBT Community’s request and the importance of inclusion was recognized when the words “Sexual orientation and “gender identity” were finally added to the Oklahoma City Public Schools policies on bullying, harassment, an nondiscrimination.

     The inclusion of “gender identity” put the school district at the forefront of student protection as very few school districts throughout the country had yet to include it.

     As with all things, there is growth. And part of that process is to realize that the gates of hell did not open to consume the school district and the greater city in which it operated, and the imagined unending filings of lawsuits was a fantasy and excuse for immobility.

     Quite surprisingly, I am sure, those who had originally opposed inclusion and may have reluctantly allowed it have been seeing the rest of the country catching up.

     Proof of that positive growth came, when on this past June 12, 2017, the Oklahoma City Public Schools Board of Education passed a resolution vowing unwavering support for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer students and staff making it one of only five school districts in the country to do so.

     Chairperson Paula Lewis has stated,

“The resolution is just a start for our district of recognizing that we are a diverse district and that we are proud of everybody in our district whether it be students or teachers.”

     And

     “I’d like to get an overarching policy that says we as a district recognize not just our nondiscrimination, but a true policy that says we recognize all these groups and they’re safe to work here and they are safe to go to school here.”

     These are the very sentiments expressed from 1997 to 2009 by those advocating for inclusive language.

     Carrie Jacobs another Board member explained her support of the resolution.

     “It sends the message that the district is for all kids. It says that we see you and we are grateful that you are here. We value your contributions.”

     This has become a good Pride Month for me.

     And lest they are forgotten, there were a number of people, besides myself, who throughout those long years went to many board meetings, spoke out when it as needed, and helped in the advocacy in any way they could.

     Recent events are easy to remember, and can appear to have come out of the blue, but the Community should thank these people:

     Rob Abiera, Jim Nimmo, Bob Nichols, Mike (Skye) Camfield, Eddie Kromer, Paul Bashline, Rhonda Rudd and Jayshree, Karen Parsons, Jean Pennycuff, all the guys at Tramps, still here and gone, Nathaniel Batchelder and his Peace House, Rey Jones, a man who wanted justice for everyone, Jim Prock, Victor Gorin, Reverends Scott Jones and Jenalu Johnston, and Paula Schonauer. .

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I came. I saw. I conquered. Now I am getting erased

I have attended talks by people who were inside and out on the street the night of the Stonewall Inn Rebellion who, after speaking of their experience that night,  have been corrected on some details that did not match what an audience member had been sent by a peer of the same age in a text.

My own history was sanitized recently to a point to remove all possible triggers that would make certain facts uncomfortable for present day young readers who might be offended by the terms that were used and the attitudes expressed twenty years ago so that when I read my own history, I was a minor player in an event in which I was the main one. Restoration of facts and vocabulary, no matter how unpleasant to today’s sensibilities, restored me to my own story.

In my living room I have a framed t-shirt I designed for an AIDS Walk in Oklahoma City in 1994, some thirty years ago now, along with a button and key chain that were part of the fundraising, but read recently that this year will be the 25th annual AIDS Walk, according to a new committee, erasing the five walks that would make it actually the 30th and removing from the Community history the people who had faced the worst of the AIDS Pandemic’s early devastation in the 1980s, and had begun the Walks.

A simple inquiry on a visit to Long Beach California recently revealed that, although the Gay Men’s Chorus of Long Beach had existed from 1984 through around 1994 and was very well known, the young people at the reception desk at the GLBT Community Center, which should have its finger on the pulse of the Community, past, present, and future, had no idea such a chorus existed showing that the men who had given their time to the Community during the early years of the AIDS Pandemic have been erased. Making it worse was this same lack of knowledge on the part of the person in charge of the Center at the time I visited who presented a bad example to those who have taken on caring for the Community in all its aspects. They only knew about the chorus begun in Orange County in 1992. 

To guarantee to myself and anyone who might assume I have reached that age where fantasy and reality blur their boundaries, although I could find no reviews of the GMCLB’s performances, I did find notices of its upcoming concert dates in the local paper, The Press-Telegram, for those years.

Although the Center would welcome anything I might have related to the chorus, there seemed to be little interest in correcting the history.

In looking for information online since anything I had was lost in 1992 with the Rodney King Riots reaching where I had materials stored, I wrote to the local newspaper in Long Beach and was referred to a local LGBT Community newspaper that might be useful to my research and found it had recently celebrated its anniversary, claiming to be the first LGBT Community paper in Long Beach.

I know this claim to be false because, among my involvements in the Long Beach Gay Community, I was the cartoonist for the original paper from 1985 to 1992. 

That was the year I spent the summer in Greenwich Village in New York having coffee occasionally with many people who were at the Stonewall Inn that night,  holding the Ashes of Marsha Johnson at coffee in Mr. Wicker’s antique shop the day before I attended both her funeral and the party after where the Drag Queens were fierce, and got to hear the stories of the behind the scenes that may shock those whose history is all lollipops and rainbows and which they would dismiss out of hand because truth triggers the easily offended.

I have spoken with many who did the heavy lifting since Stonewall, and what they have experienced in large numbers is seeing the history of which they were a part and a shaper being modified to taste like history is a recipe and themselves being written out of their own lives and replaced with tag-alongs.

Some of the saddest words I heard came from an older activist, “No one knows who I am anymore,” when many owe her a debt.

As a teacher, whenever an unpleasant historical event came up there were always the students in the class who boasted that had they been there, things would have been different, ignoring the reality that things in the past were not like they are now and could have been better or worse than they are presently. Whereas, now you might be able to storm into someplace and make your displeasure known because times allow for that, trying that in the past might have you shot just stepping in the door depending what part of the country you lived in and what color your skin was.

When a group of us elder Gays were discussing changes over time while sitting at a bar on Pride Day, we were admonished for expressing jealousy of the young kids who have the freedom to do what we only could dream of and worked for, with the reminder that if we had only worked harder we would have had our rights sooner  when this twenty something was born Years after the state had passed its equality law and might have some difficulties now, but not those as well as what had to be experienced before.

When things like marriage equality came along it was, to this young person and his friends, just part of the natural progression that went along with what we had been given in the past because, apparently, it was not through the hard work of the activists in the Community but because of the largesse of the greater society that extended our rights to us that we now have them.

A Transgender friend is given the cold shoulder by young Trans people who ignore what her transitioning entailed as a decorated cop in a red state capitol  and do not invite her to participate in things because they have decided that all cops, regardless of anything, are bad, and she is equally guilty of any police oppression regardless of her treatment by the police force post gender alignment.

If I have seen this much erasure in these many places in just those things with which I had a close relationship, it has to be happening in a lot of places and we need to stop this erosion of our history.

I saved my history as I wrote an important part of it in a book and that, my artwork, and legal papers from OKC are archived and, regardless of any future treatment, my truth is on file.

Although it has been 30 years and only one visit in that time, I am endeavoring to restore the GMCLB and the original Gay newspaper to the historic record.

I am proposing that anyone  who was a Gay activist, who gave their lives to the fight, who experienced any part of Gay History, write your personal experience down. Do not leave it to others. They will not be looking you up especially if your history goes back more than 30 years.

Write down your personal experience, the role you played, referring only to others as they play into your story. You are the star, they the extras and supporting cast. It will happen that way with their tellings so there will, in the end, be singular and group inter-twinings.

This is your official account of your story, the one that, regardless how anyone else might twist it, will exist as your truth.

There are various places archiving Gay History.

My Oklahoma History is at a university in that state and there are Gay History sites on the internet. You can write it up on a self publishing site so it is preserved.

It used to be that we were erased by those who did not want us in the histories because we were different. Histories were rewritten to credit others with our work and pronoun genders were changed to deny our love for each other. It was bad enough when we had to protect our history from others, it is horrendous that we have to save our history from self-revision from within.

“What we obtain too cheaply we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. ” Thomas Paine